Back! In more ways that one..

I haven't used this blog in quite a while.  I've been through a lot and then some.  Here is a small high-light of what's been going on.

When I started this blog I was in a relationship and happy.  We got married and about a year in a half into it, she decided she wanted out.  Why?  I wasn't sure at the time being but I found out about a month after our divorce when she told me she was pregnant.  Pregnant with someone else's child. 

WTF?! 

She wouldn't give me details but only said "don't worry, it's not yours".  I sank into the deepest, darkest depression I've ever seen.  I had ZERO coping skills to deal with this.  I had been out of jiu-jitsu for well over a year (I rarely attended since I broke my arm).  And my life took a terrible spiral that has landed me into a mess. 

Back to the cheater.  She stated in January of '12 she wanted a divorce.  We were divorced in April of '12.  May of '12 she tells me the pregnancy stuff and the first week of September 2012, she gives birth to a girl. 

We were still "together" and sleeping together in December of 2011 and January of 2012..  I don't think the child is mine and apparently there is another sucker who has claimed the kid. 

So, over a year later, I'm back here.  My depression is no-longer a factor but it did lead me to some things I had never experienced before.  Drugs.  Drugs that I kind of, sort of took from the hospital...  I was and am not an addict.. but I did abuse some drugs.  I self-medicated to cope with my depression.  I isolated myself from everyone around me.  I screwed up a ton of crap.. 

I'm still a nurse.. I still have friends.. and I still have Jiu-Jitsu.